mistakes during divorce

Common Mistakes People Make During a Divorce

Divorce may be one of the most difficult things you ever have to go through, so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself if you make a few mistakes along the way. However, taking active steps to avoid these common mistakes can help you streamline the divorce process and minimize your stress.

If you’re ready to discuss your divorce in greater detail and make a plan, we’re ready to help. Call Wilkins, Bankester, Biles & Wynne at 251-937-7024 to schedule a consultation now.

1. Let Their Feelings Get the Best of Them

A lot of people let emotion guide them through the divorce process. This is perhaps one of the worst things you can do if you want a fresh start after the process is over. Divorce can be traumatic, and it’s normal for your feelings to jump all over. But letting those feelings determine choices that will affect the rest of your life is a huge mistake, and often a costly one.

2. Take the Other Person at Their Word

Your ex-partner could be the nicest person in the world, but you still shouldn’t let them make divorce-related decisions for you. They tell you it’s easier if they have primary custody “on paper” but they’ll let you see the kids whenever you want? No, you want legally enforceable joint custody. They promise that their attorney has created a settlement that is fair for both of you, so you don’t need to spend money on your own lawyer? Assume that the settlement solely benefits them. You need to be your own advocate during this time.

3. Give Up Too Much

The stress of divorce can be unbearable, but don’t give up too much in your pursuit of a quick settlement. The concessions you make now could influence your finances and your relationship with your children for years to come. Decide ahead of time where you are and are not willing to negotiate.

4. Refuse to Negotiate

While being too flexible isn’t good for you, neither is being so rigid that you are unable. To work with your ex-partner at all. You may not like cooperating with them during negotiations but getting the important issues out of the way benefits everyone involved. Refusing to negotiate will not change your ex-partner’s mind or punish them—you will be primarily hurting yourself if you shut down communication.

5. Make Big Financial Decisions

Divorce can be a fresh start, but this isn’t the time to jump into huge purchases or commitments. New cars, townhomes, and vacations might take the sting of divorce away, but they will also saddle you with bills you may or may not be prepared for. Work your way through the divorce process first, get a good look at your financial future, and then decide if you want to move forward with your purchases. Another reason to hold off on big purchases—taking out lines of credit may complicate your divorce further and delay your final court date.

6. Engage in Side Negotiations

It’s not uncommon for divorcing spouses to engage in negotiations through their attorneys but then make under-the-table deals during late-night texts or phone calls. This may be initiated by one party as a way of manipulating the other into a settlement that better benefits the initiator. When you do this, you’re only making your attorney’s job harder and drawing out the negotiation process longer than necessary.

7. Handle the Legal Side of Your Divorce Alone

While you can file pro se and handle negotiations directly with your spouse, this can have a ripple effect on every part of your life. It’s difficult to know the long-term implications of different divorce agreements, and the DIY solutions you come up with could hurt you financially or otherwise. This is especially true if your partner has an attorney but is insisting that you don’t need one because they’re not trying to take advantage of you. If your ex-partner has an attorney, you absolutely need one representing your best interests.

Explore Your Divorce Options with Wilkins, Bankester, Biles & Wynne

You deserve reliable, aggressive representation when going through a divorce. The team at Wilkins, Bankester, Biles & Wynne is here to listen to you, figure out what matters to you most in your divorce, and move forward with a plan. Schedule a consultation now by calling us at 251-206-5458 or contacting us online.

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